


fighting destiny

by thereyloiswithme



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Closet Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, MacGuffins, Reylo endgame, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Virgin Rey, Woman on Top, echoing lines from between anakin and padme, force bond sex, its like poetry it rhymes - george lucas, its not hate sex bc im weak, parentage isnt mentioned bc fuck that noise rey nobody or bust, rey dresses in black like our fashion icon Luke from rotj, some canon compliance but mostly salt @ jj and tros, virgin kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:13:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21997306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereyloiswithme/pseuds/thereyloiswithme
Summary: The door closes, and Ren expects never to see her again. Snoke is dead, he created their bond, he bridged their minds.He said. Only a few days after the battle of Crait, after seeing Luke Skywalker’s ghost, and learning that his family may seem like they’ve abandoned him, his mother Reaches out. Ren hears her so clearly, as if she’s standing in the room.He gets to his feet, halfway through meditating to his grandfather's mask, somewhat of a pointless endeavor at this point, and she speaks.Ben…That’s it.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp, TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	fighting destiny

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this!!! https://twitter.com/ben_solo_is_us/status/1210554702506549249?s=20
> 
> im too lazy to beta and also this is just trash that kept fighting me to exist so here it is yo. 
> 
> takes a bit to get to the smut, sorry about that!!!

The door closes, and Ren expects never to see her again. Snoke is dead, he created their bond, he bridged their minds. 

He said. Only a few days after the battle of Crait, after seeing Luke Skywalker’s ghost, and learning that his family may seem like they’ve abandoned him, his mother Reaches out. Ren hears her so clearly, as if she’s standing in the room.

He gets to his feet, halfway through meditating to his grandfather's mask, somewhat of a pointless endeavor at this point, and she speaks. _Ben…_ That’s it. A simple whisper of his name, resonating through his mind, and Ren feels as if the ground has crumbled beneath him. He needs to get some air, so he leaves his quarters, abandoning all attempts to communicate with the spirit of his grandfather, passing clusters of Troopers and First Order uniforms, ignoring them all. He passes the meeting room, and pivots on his heel in shock. Rey is sitting in the corner, both halves of the split lightsaber in hand, looking around wistfully. Or is it a touch lonesome? Ren doesn’t dare speak a word, but he slips into the room and tries approaching her. Without his mask, he knows everything he’s thinking and feeling will be exposed, his face readable unlike his mind. Rey says nothing either, but she suddenly glances up, and drops the saber halves. 

Her face crumples, twisting with many emotions, above all else, untempered rage, and Ren balks. 

He can see her frowning in concentration, before vanishing. Throughout the rest of the day, as it turns into a week, he wonders where she was, and why she had been isolating herself. If she were speaking with someone, it would have been obvious. Ren heard Luke when he called out to Rey during that first connection. When the shock of it wears off, the fact that Rey and he are still bound, somehow, regret sets in, because it’s over anyway. Rey is concentrating her efforts on keeping him out, away, Ren will likely never see her again, unless he can somehow get close enough to Force project directly to her. He’s not going to waste First Order resources like that, it could put both Rey and his mother’s remaining rebels in danger. Ren knows very well he _should_ want them found and caught, then killed.

But as Snoke said… he’s infected with compassion, a weakness. He needs to unlearn wanting what he can’t have.

Ever since he started having visions of _that girl_ , he’s always known how it would end, tragically. Rey is off limits. 

  
  


His mother is training her, Ren knows. Her voice lilts in and out of his dreams, his unconscious mind is more vulnerable than ever now, despite being free from under Snoke’s thumb, Ren puts off sleeping until he is all but staggering through ship hallways, leaning heavily on door frames, vertical walls, staying in his chair longer than necessary. 

Someone asks if he’s alright, and Ren throws them against a wall, that same one he used this morning to prevent falling over a maintenance droid. “My _feelings_ are none of your concern!” He snarls, but there’s no real bite behind it. 

Ren returns to his quarters and is almost dizzy, so he locks the door and collapses into bed. That’s when he hears it. 

Rey meditating. Seeking out the Force, asking for guidance. Well, sometimes the Jedi of old were _wrong_ , so maybe they aren’t the best to be learned from, Ren thinks sardonically. He stirs on his bed, halfway caught between what seemed as a dream, and being awake all at the same time. Rey isn’t right in front of him, she’s somewhere off to the side, cross legged, hovering in mid air, surrounded by greenery. Ren blinks a few times, before realizing he’s asleep, and not really doing it.

So she hasn’t noticed him yet. Perhaps she won’t, if she really thinks she’s blocking him out. Ren takes a moment to appreciate the sight of her, drinking in how she’s fully embraced the balance. At least, that’s how he interprets her short sleeved black robes, tied just below her ribs with a sash, barefoot, her hair pulled back in a singular knot. 

Ren has never seen her looking so beautiful, and the knowledge that he could have had her as his Empress, had she taken his hand and said yes, will never stop tormenting him. Now, she radiates light, despite her contrasting aura, clad in black. 

Rey is not nearly as pale as him, so it casts her in a healthy pallor, and he knows if she were to open her eyes and find him, they’d go black as pitch in response, out of anger. Ren grumbles to himself, halfway wishing he could Force her to look at him, to break that serenity evident on her face. But instead, he retreats, or tries to, and merely observes Rey finishing her meditation, sinking to the ground, landing on her two feet, before taking off at a run. He does not pursue her, awakening with a sigh, his head pounds worse than ever. Ren’s nostrils flare and he pushes off from the bed, resigned to go a few more days before he’ll be able to experience a full night’s rest. 

  
  


This goes on for some time. It’s around three months after Crait, the supposedly severed connection, when Rey appears to _him_ as Ren is in the middle of his lunch, and he almost chokes on a mouthful of food. “What are you doing here?”

He asks, probably a touch harsher than absolutely necessary. Rey glares, her hair down, framing her face, robes loose and a light charcoal grey. Ren frowns, she’s not dressed for battle, or even training. She looks quite the opposite, softer. 

Like she’s just woken up. What planet is she on? Then again, time moves differently for him while in a battle cruiser, rather than orbiting a system or being on the surface of any one world. Ren feels lucky she doesn’t shoot him with a concealed blaster. “I was _trying_ to get back to my room after getting a drink of water, not that it’s any of _your_ business.” Rey all but snarls at him. Her frustration is tempered quickly by a yawn, thus Ren is confirmed correct in his assumption. 

He can’t help but try to smile. “Did I wake you?” Ren asks, softening his tone. Rey sighs. “I think it might have been when you slammed open your fresher door a half hour ago. I haven’t been able to get back to sleep since.” Ren frowns.

That shouldn’t have transferred, a harmless interaction with objects on _his_ end. Rey appears to be distraught over something else though, so he simply apologizes. “You don’t know?” She asks suddenly. Ren tilts his head. “Know what?”

“Your mother is sick. I’m not sure what’s causing it. But it’s almost like her energy is draining away.” 

Rey claps a hand to her mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that.” Ren stands up, pushing his chair back with a loud screech. “Why not? If there’s something I could do to help-” Rey holds out her hand, seemingly trying to keep him back, using the Force to impact him through the bond will do little good. As if he could really reach out and touch her… he finds he wants to. He wishes he could. “Rey… I would never harm her.” Ren says, and he can see she doesn’t believe him, but she’s listening. That’s what matters now. “I believe you. I don’t know why, but I do. Why are you still in my head?” Rey asks. 

She’s almost whispering to him, it must be night where she is, she’s not the only one trying to rest. Ren swallows thickly.

“I don’t know. I thought with… him being dead, this would end. I thought-” He breaks off, and Rey nods, a slight jerk of her chin. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s like you’re spying on us, through me. I hate it.” Despite her words cutting deep, Ren can hear a tinge of regret in her voice. Rey is sorry about something, and it’s not just their bond. “I understand.”

He lifts his hand, and flexes his fingers, pinching off the connection from his end. 

Rey fades into nothingness just as quick as she appeared, with some inscrutable expression on her face. 

Almost like an apology of her own. 

  
  


Ren is in pursuit of more knowledge, the wayfinder legends, along with the help of a Sith Holocron, when he sees her again, for the first time in another three months of silence. Rey is holding the saber, and it’s repaired, working like it did before. A slash of blue light that makes his jaw ache as it tightens. That should be _his_. ‘Just like her,’ his mind supplies, extremely unwelcome, unhelpfully. Ren grits his teeth. “Why aren’t you blocking me out, Rey?” He asks, voice unsteady. 

She inhales sharply, and whirls around, holding the saber at an angle to her body, illuminating the fact she’s still clad in black. Ren lets his mouth turn up in a half smile. “I’m not giving you anything.” She hisses. 

He holds up his hands, hidden behind smooth black leather, as always. “Who said I was asking?” Rey’s eyes dart from his own gaze to his mouth, somewhere around his neck brace. She’d like to slice him in half, Ren thinks. 

“You’re haunting me. Worse than Luke’s ghost. I’m sick of it.” Ren lifts his head, an eyebrow quirking. 

So his dear dead uncle has been paying Rey a visit while ignoring him entirely? How nice.

“Why don’t you come find me and kill me?” He asks. Making no move for his own saber, he does take a step closer. 

Rey blinks, noticing, and then lifting the saber, pointing directly at him. 

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll come for you, and when I do, you’re going to pay for what you’ve done.” 

Ren smiles now, in earnest. “Why don’t you tell me what I’ve done, that offends you so badly?” He really wants to know why she’s drawn to him in such random moments, like right now, he was preparing to leave the fleet, to go out on his own. 

But here she is, bright, beautiful, all in black and deadly as ever. “It’s not just that, it’s what you’re planning.” Rey spits. 

Ren licks his lips, and sees her hand wavering. Her arm lowers. The saber retracts. He walks closer still, and keeps his hands at his sides. “All I’m planning right now is how I can possibly make contact with you, through this.” 

Rey’s eyes widen, and she backs up, but there’s a wall behind her, where she is, and where Ren is. She stops, swallowing.

“You think you can kill me?” Ren shakes his head slowly. “Never. Why would I want that? I’m already alone as it is, up here.” He taps his finger on his head, as Rey blinks, frowning a little. “Isn’t that normal?” She’s whispering now. 

Ren nods. “But not for me.” She’s looking at him like she understands, and for a long moment, Rey’s gaze is on his lips. 

Eventually, he tries to change that, and leans forward, daringly brushing his mouth against her cheek, and grazing his nose down along the silky skin of her neck. “Please, don’t leave me again in the dark.” Ren whispers. 

So many nights, so many dreams. Rey has never shut him out, unaware or not of his presence. 

Now she stands frozen, instead of responding as he expected, or feared, she doesn’t hit him, or shove him away, she merely breathes, and trembles a little, lifting a hand to cup his cheek. 

“Ben…” He shudders, and straightens up again, trying to fix her with a hard stare, to conjure up anger. 

All he feels is the weakness he’s been accused of, time and time again under Snoke. Rey’s eyes are wide, shiny, and Ren knows instantly the tears are for him. “I’m sorry.” He says. Her hand falls from his face, and Ren feels his head pound. 

“I can’t do this with you and not feel like a traitor. I can’t be what you want me to be.” Rey says finally. Ren gulps for air. 

“We could… we could keep it a secret. No one knows about our bond… anymore.” He tries, desperate for this yearning not to go away, for it to remain unsated. Rey presses her lips together, swallowing. “I don’t know if I can trust you.” 

She almost sounds regretful about her words, but Ren knows better. “What if that didn’t matter? I can’t see where you are. Just you, remember?” Rey takes a step forward and nearly stumbles into his arms, because Ren is so unprepared for it.

He _can_ hold her. “If we do this, I will have to start lying to your mother.” She whispers. The _if_ gives him so much hope Ren thinks he might fall over. “Just pretend I’m a dream.” He says, voice gone rough. He’s already imagining them.

Rey nods shakily. “Alright. What will we do?” Ren puts a gloved hand to her cheek, imitating how she just touched him. 

“This.” He closes his eyes and leans his head down, this time, not diverting from his intentioned destination, and Rey gasps into his mouth, against the kiss, while returning it with just as much enthusiasm as Ren gives her. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Rey doesn’t intend for things to go this way. The first time Kylo Ren appeared before her, she panicked, and tried to shove him away with just her mind. He disappears like smoke in the wind. Again and again, the bond keeps reactivating, coming to life at the most inopportune times, and Rey is starting to think the Force is doing this on purpose, trying to disarm her. There’s very few things in her life that disarm her, and it seems Kylo Ren is one of those things. 

Right now, it’s been six months and a couple of days since the battle on Crait, she’s safe and secure with the resistance remnants on Naboo, General Organa’s mother’s homeworld, and Rey can’t help feeling a twinge of guilt. 

The truth is, Kylo Ren should be there, he should _be there_ with his remaining family, as _Ben Solo_. maybe that’s what it is. That’s what makes her give in, and be weak, just for a split second. The only problem is, that second blends and merges and melts into minutes, a half an hour. Rey is naked, tearing out of her dark grey robes, pulling frantically at Kylo Ren’s own black silk sleepwear, until he’s been wrestled onto the ground, on his back, and then she’s clawing at naked skin, panting into the side of his neck, grinding her flesh into his. “Please, please, I need you-” He gasps, as Rey groans, feeling more animalistic than she has in years, chasing after that impossible untempered bliss, as Kylo’s hands frame her hips and her teeth trap his bottom lip between them. She moans, low and long, his cock trapped between their stomachs, core aching. “What do you need?” Kylo asks. His voice sounds rougher and more pleading than she’s ever heard, but all Rey can choke out is a simple, “You.” His hands shift in an instant, one between Rey’s legs, feeling for where she’s hot and wet, craving a touch so badly it’s worse than any hunger pains. As Kylo does this, she echoes the movement, from just propping herself up on his chest, to sliding a hand down, pressing against the hard and hot wet tipped length that she’s only dreamt about before. His gasp is loud enough to deafen, and his strong hips nearly buck her off, if not for both his hands keeping her flush to his body. Rey smiles at this, sharp, all teeth. “Good for you?” She asks, confidence byling inexperience. “Oh, yeah. Keep that up and I’ll not get inside you in time.”

 _Good_ , she thinks. Rey isn’t sure how this all works, force bond and all, but she doesn’t fancy the idea of being with child.

  
  


Eventually, he’s unable to focus on her, spilling over his chest in stuttering gasps, white ropes of fluid coating his chest in haphazard lines, making her curious enough to stop, and lower her head from just a few frantic kisses. Kylo makes further pleas, as Rey’s tongue meets his chest, darting past a budded nipple to swipe up a dribble of his release, and salty bitterness explodes over her taste buds. “You’re, I’m, Oh Rey…” Kylo groans, choking a breath, as Rey smirks against his skin, unable to resist teasing him further, taking one of those nipples into her mouth, though her own are painfully tight, her cleft afire, dripping wet, she practically grinds into his thigh, over his hand, while two of his thick fingers curl up against her. “Yes?” She asks, not intentionally mean, but regardless, she’s pretending she doesn’t know why he’s speechless. Kylo just writhes under her, continuing to attempt fingering her, pleasing her, and Rey simply lets him. 

By the time he’s done shivering, she’s licked up all of his cum, and now she returns to kissing his lips. “Touch me.” Rey murmurs, feeling him nod frantically, his other hand stroking up her bare back, caressing the ridges and dips of her spine. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t believe you-” Kylo breaks off suddenly, eyes fluttering closed, teeth worrying his plush bottom lip, and Rey smiles, kindly this time. “That I what?” She asks. His hand between her legs takes her breath away, vanishing the cockiness, and then Rey’s clenching around him, gasping, breathing hard right over his mouth, forehead pressing hard into his. “Let me touch you like this, feel you breathe against me, you’re so _wet_ Rey.” Kylo moans finally.

“All because of you,” Because she can’t lie, not to him, especially. Kylo puts his free hand at the back of her neck, cradling her skull, kissing her so deeply she can taste what she thinks are tears, while making sure he tastes the essence of _himself_ and then she’s breaking down, shattering to pieces over him, both her hands grasping his shoulders so hard she’s drawing blood, blunt nails digging into his skin. “Oh... _Ben_ .” There’s no way around it, Rey can’t call him anything but that, and she _knows_ he hates it, but his reaction isn’t anger, he’s almost trembling beneath her, as if unwilling to admit how much he likes hearing her say it. Kylo breathes out. “I want to taste you.” He says, in turn, because it’s fair enough, she tasted him. “But I’ve already-” Rey protests, and he just shakes his head. “I know you can do it again.” She can’t argue.

Kylo waits patiently as she reorientates herself, crawling up the length of his body, kneeling over his face, her own burning hot with shame, even though _he_ asked for it. Rey hesitates, but both his hands settle on her hips and forcibly pull her down, so that she’s right on his face. Her head falls back and one of her hands goes into his hair almost automatically.

“Ben…” She chokes on a sob.

  
  


She’s thinking about that night so often now that she finds she can’t sleep properly for a long time, probably around a week. Not without seeing _him_ again. Rey doesn’t, for another two weeks, until she’s midway through meditating, and then suddenly Kylo is there, but she’s _with_ him, inside of a cramped room, more like a closet. She frowns.

“What’s going on? Why are you hiding in here, of all places?” Rey asks, not willing to put up with much of this, for some reason the connection feels stronger. Her paranoia tells her it’s likely because of their last encounter, emotions strengthening things between them, but she brushes it off, refusing to allow it as a possibility. 

Kylo looks terrified, pale as a ghost. 

“I’ve… well. It’s simple really. My Generals are asking for the next target. I keep trying to delay, but they are out for blood. I think there’s a plot against me. If I don’t follow the wayfinder… if I can’t find the Unknown space soon, and locate the surviving Sith, they’ll overthrow me. Whispers of a mutiny are everywhere. They say there’s even a resistance mole on the ship. _My_ ship.” Rey shouldn’t care. The truth is, she really doesn’t. 

Anything that hampers the First Order is good, but the fact that they’re willing to go against their ‘supreme leader’ who they _think_ was lucky to not be killed by Snoke… Kylo told her after he finished getting her off last time. 

It’s why he thought the bond should be kaput. His men believe she had defeated Snoke and Kylo barely held his own against her, along with the guards. Rey thinks it’s laughable, but the First Order has never been that bright.

“What can I do?” She asks, as Kylo just looks at the floor, shrugging sadly. That’s when Rey sees the tears streaking down his cheeks. He sniffles. Instead of being repulsed, her chest aches. If Leia could see him now, she’d feel vindication.

‘ _There’s still light in him, I know it._ ’ Leia had told her, months and months ago. Rey even sees the irony now, in wearing all black, just like Kylo. Perhaps she’s trying to reach him this way too, echoing his attire. She truthfully found she was tired of the same off white or grey brown clothing, black doesn’t show split blood, after all. Far more practical. 

Not that it matters now, with the two of them standing in relative dark closet. “Will you hold me?” Kylo says in a whisper. 

Rey staggers forward, and he nearly collapses onto her, shuddering in silent sobs. Her eyes go wide in the darkness, teeth worrying her bottom lip, she strokes a hand over the back of his head, petting the nape of his neck, her other arm curved around his back. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay.” Rey says softly. It’s a lie, but a comforting one. “I’m not so sure about that.”

Before she knows it, Kylo is kissing her, tasting of sadness, and smoke, as if he’s been near a fire, but Rey lets him, melting into his return embrace. His strong arms lift her up off of her feet, pushing her hard into the wall, and she’s panting. His cock ruts in between her legs, betraying his eagerness, and how he missed this as much as she did all through the long past few days. This ends up causing Rey’s breath to speed up, as Kylo kisses her neck, biting her flesh, it’s enough to make her panic that he might leave a mark. Then she remembers. This isn’t real. It’s just a bond encounter. 

There will be no marks. Kylo growls into her skin and reaches back to squeeze her ass _hard_ , before his other hand fumbles in the parting of her thighs, then Rey’s breathing hard for another reason. An obscene sounding squelch, two fingers pressing into her, making her gasp, as Kylo grunts something out, and rocks his hips harder, faster, it’s almost like he’s really _there_. “I want you inside me.” Rey finally says, just shy of a whisper, while Kylo nods against her chest, mouthing weakly over a clothed breast. “Okay.” A few more seconds of blind movements, then wet heat nudges against her, where only fingers have ever penetrated. Rey gasps, taken by surprise at the breach, but Kylo is slow, careful, steady, until he’s fully inside her, a choked sob leaving his throat. “You feel, incredible, you’re so tight, Rey.” He whispers on a moan. 

Kylo doesn’t last very long, not that she can blame him, the rippling feedback over the bond tells her everything that he’s feeling, and Rey finds herself in a very strange position of experiencing the dual sensations struggling between them. 

Both being filled and filling up a hot wet hole, she understands very quickly why it takes immense self control for lovers to draw things out and ensure their partner is pleased. Rey ends up clinging to him, biting him back on his rightmost prominent earlobe, whispering a soft apology when he squeaks from the discomfort, already jerking his hips, warmth spilling into her, dripping back out, slippery sticky between her thighs. Kylo buries his face in the side of her neck opposite where he bit her before, moaning and whimpering apologies, drooling over her skin, jaw slack. 

Rey shivers, her legs wobbly, unsteady as he finally lets her back down to stand on her own two legs on the floor. 

His spend leaks out of her as he stands there, gazing at her, eyes more than adjusted to the dark of the closet now. “This-” Kylo breaks off, and Rey feels a smile creeping over her kiss bitten lips. “It’s the best part of my day.” She says. 

Clearly he doesn’t expect this, and grins sheepishly. “Thanks.” Rey nods, seeing him startle, glance up, then back to her.

“I have to go.” Kylo says simply. She never really needs him to stay long after, it really does makes things easier if he vanishes right as soon as she’s come, but he doesn’t ever leave her that easily. 

In an odd way, Kylo would probably consider that harsh. Rey feels his hands bruising on her hips long after she’s been thrust back into her own quarters. As she goes into the fresher for her morning clean up, she catches sight of a shadow in the mirror. Rey walks up to the counter and tilts her head. A soft cry springs up and dies in her throat as she lifts a shaky hand to her neck, her throat. Smudges of reddish purple litter her skin. Kylo’s love bites. Rey swallows thickly. 

So much for not mattering over the bond, she thinks. She presses hard against them, and closes her eyes, focusing. 

Within a few mercifully short seconds, as Rey opens her eyes again, they’re gone as quick as they bloomed to life. 

She breathes easier, but in the back of her mind, the lingering question of how and why her and Kylo are still connected remains. To what end, what purpose? Besides the selfish obvious answer, Rey continues to be baffled. 

  
  


The next few months pass like in a dream, before Rey knows it, she’s following a lead with Finn and Poe to get the second Wayfinder, the matching Jedi Holocron to find the path to the Unknown Regions of Space, where the Sith leftovers linger. She feels a hint of guilt, knowing Kylo has spoken of this before, and when she sees him opposite her in the market on Pasaana, there’s a sort of resignation that everywhere she goes, he will follow, eventually. 

“You think you’re going to outrun me, Scavenger?” Kylo snarls at her, for whose benefit, Rey isn’t sure. 

He’s got that ridiculous mask on again too. She glares at him. “Gonna try my best, yeah. What of it?” 

She sticks her chin out in defiance, and Kylo’s hand lashes out. Rey’s eyes widen, but he’s not trying to hit her, or even touch her. His gloved fingers snatch away the necklace draped on her chest, around her neck, and it’s just _gone._ For real. She gasps, and then Kylo vanishes. 

He’s going to find her, he’s going to hunt _them_ down. Rey’s jaw tightens, and she spins on her heel, it’s time to find her friends. Kylo _does_ arrive on Pasaana, and he forces her into a standoff that nearly ends in the death of Chewie. 

Rey is tired of their fighting, especially when it comes at the expense of others. When lightning emerges from her fingertips, her entire world tilts upside down. Kylo just looks resigned, dare she say, disappointed? Not surprised. 

  
  


He shows up on Endor’s moon too, in the ruins of the second Death Star, and this time, it’s also just as _real_. 

Stunning and dangerously close. Rey only knows for sure because he feels less like a dream, and more like a sizzling thunderstorm. “Give it to me.” She spits. Kylo smirks. “The only way you’re getting to Exegol, is with me.” 

He raises his fist, soundly crushing the second Wayfinder and Holocron into metal and glass splintered shards. 

Rey gasps, then raises her lightsaber. “Not on your life.” Kylo blinks. “That can be arranged.” As if he knows her heart. When she stabs him, and he lets her, Rey knows she’s made a mistake. She heals Kylo less than a minute later, placing her hand over his chest, well aware that the last time they connected intimately, her mouth covered every inch of his body. 

He looks up at her in disbelief. Kylo really did want to die. 

Rey’s eyes burn with tears, and she feels her mouth trembling. “I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” She says. 

Her words almost choke her, but it’s the truth. Kylo blinks, looking at her with that eternal sadness those brown orbs always contain. There’s something else there now, Rey is terrified to acknowledge it. She knows deep down what it is.

“But you didn’t because-” Kylo starts, breaking off to look away from her, out towards the raging seas. Rey nods.

“I don’t want to rule the galaxy. It needs no ruler. It craves freedom. I want to _protect_ it.” She tells him. Kylo gulps visibly. 

“I can’t go back, it’s too late for me.” He says. Rey shakes her head, forcing herself to be strong. “You _can_ . You _will_.”

Repeating that she saw his future, saw him turning, stepping up beside her, holding a second blue saber, isn’t going to convince him. It’s the bond they share. This fragile thing between them that Rey is absolutely too frightened to call _love._

Instead, she leans down and presses her lips to Kylo’s clammy, cold cheek. “You’ll be with me?” He asks softly, with that undertone that tastes so very much like hope. Rey nods, more tears falling, her hand rising up to cradle his face. 

She feels him smiling, then a sob chokes out of his throat. “You’re not alone.” She tells him. “Neither are you.” Kylo says. 

They’re not. Stronger together, equally devastating apart, all it takes is one wayfinder, after all, to locate their destination.

When he steps up to her side with his mother’s lightsaber in hand, Rey feels the difference. It’s not Kylo anymore.

Ben Solo is the one who promised to stay with her, and he’s _there_ , ready to look death in the face and tell him, no more. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [warning ugly links]  
> for reference, rey's outfit:  
> https://hips.hearstapps.com/elleuk.cdnds.net/17/48/daisy-ridley-star-wars-the-last-jedi-at-st-regis-hotel-november-2017-mexico-city.jpg  
> https://www.nme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/GettyImages-877117150.jpg


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